


If You Were Me Then You'd Be Screaming Someone Shoot Me

by flowercrownmikey



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Basically, Cake, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, bc I ship it, cake come out, cake drabble, its cute i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 02:03:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5725612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowercrownmikey/pseuds/flowercrownmikey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And we broke up for this exact reason! The argument that we always have over coming out to anyone because we're so afraid of it! So why the fuck are we even trying anymore Calum?" Calum stood up from the table, going over to Luke and kneeling down so they were head to head. He took a deep breath before beginning to speak.</p><p>OR/ Calum and Luke are terrified of coming out and they accidentally do it anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Were Me Then You'd Be Screaming Someone Shoot Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Girl All The Bad Guys Want by Bowling For Soup. 
> 
> Another 2am drabble. Maybe I need to sleep more?

"Maybe we should just like, tell them?" Luke said to Calum.

"Why the fuck would we want to do that?" Calum replied, getting butter and ham out of the fridge in Luke's house.

"We're going on tour tomorrow; it might get obvious?" Luke pointed out in a 'duh' tone. Calum gave him a disapproving look as he started to butter the bread. "Will you make me a sandwich too?" Luke asked him, giving a sweet smile from where he sat with his laptop at the dining table. Calum sighed but got out more bread anyway.

"They'll be freaked out, Luke. Everything will get weird between the four of us." Calum repeated the usual with the same sad look on his face. He and Luke had already had this conversation many times. "Besides, it's none of their business what we do in our free time." Luke looked up from the laptop with his jaw dropped.

"What we do in our free- Calum, we've been together for _months!_ I think it's a little more than something we do in our spare time! Ash and Mike are our _best friends_."

"It's weird, Luke. That's how they'll see it. We're in a band- a real famous band and we're both guys. That's not something you see all the time, okay?" Calum handed Luke a plate with a ham sandwich on it and sat at the table across from him with his own.

"So if one of us was a girl it'd be different, yeah? More acceptable?" Luke asked in a harsh tone. "That's pathetic." He went back to looking at twitter on his laptop as he ate the sandwich Calum had made him.

"Look at me, Luke." Calum said calmly. Luke pushed his laptop to the side as he looked at Calum. "I want you, yeah. You know that. I just don't want to see your reaction when you see what people would say about this. You're the lead singer, you get all the attention and people would have a lot to say if you were gay, never mind dating the bassist of your own band."

"That's not the reason you don't want to tell anybody." Luke said calmly before pulling the laptop back in front of his face. He began clicking away on twitter again. "You're too happy to ruin it all."

"What?"

"You're so content with how your life is right now that you think telling anyone, even our best friends, makes your life worse. Dating me doesn't fall into Calum's perfect plan."

Calum blinked, staring at the back of Luke's laptop as the clicking continued. "Can you not even look at me while we argue?" Luke shoved the laptop away again, staring at Calum expectantly. Calum sighed, "I can't even believe we're having this argument again."

"Why are we even still trying?" Calum's head snapped up to Luke. Luke was holding back tears. "It didn't work out before the band, why are we so sure that we can make it work now?"

"Before the band we were kids."

"And we broke up for this exact reason! The argument that we always have over coming out to anyone because we're so afraid of it! So why the fuck are we even trying anymore Calum?" Calum stood up from the table, going over to Luke and kneeling down so they were head to head. He took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"Because we always make it work; because I love you and that being a secret doesn't change anything. Sure, we argue like fuck and you drive me absolutely insane, I mean bloody insane- who puts the milk in the first and then the cereal?- stop laughing, I'm serious." Calum giggled. "We're trying because we knows it's for good, yeah? We only gave up the first time because we were young and stupid."

"Yeah, we're so old and wise now we're in our twenties." Luke laughed, wiping his eyes.

"Love you." Calum whispered, kissing Luke's lips chastely before standing up and walking back to his sandwich. "We'll work it all out eventually." He grabbed Luke's empty plate from the table and then his own and walked them into the kitchen. "Do you want a drink?" Calum called to Luke, getting out two glasses because he knew Luke would say yes anyway. When Luke didn't reply he glanced up and locked his eyes onto the blond. "Lucas?" He drawled playfully.

Luke was staring at something Calum couldn't see. Calum walked through the opened planned kitchen and back to the dining table where Luke sat. He looked through the door to the front room- where Luke was staring. Next to the closed front door stood Ashton and Michael, wide-eyed and looking guilty; like they'd just stolen ice-cream from a kid. Calum felt his stomach churn.

"Hi," He said uncomfortably instead of throwing up like he wanted to. Ashton lifted a hand, waved and then dropped it back to his side. Yeah, they knew something and Calum wanted to actually throw up. He was so close to running back into the kitchen and leaning over the sink. "So... when did you guys get here?"

Ashton was the one to answer. His voice almost sounded higher. "A while ago."

A long paused passed before Calum said anything again. "Right." It was a small whisper. He could actually feel the bile rising up his throat. "Gunna throw up. I'll be back." He said quietly, hoping only Luke heard it before he walked back into the kitchen and hovered over the sink  as he struggled to keep his breathing at a regular rate. He put his head in his hands when he realized he wasn't actually going to be sick, he just stood there, half in the sink which was luckily clean and empty, and tried to get his body functioning normally again. Maybe he was about to have a panic attack instead.

"I'll be right back. Um, sit down?" He heard Luke say and then there were arms wrapping around him. Luke's voice didn't sound normal either, not even when speaking to his best friends. "Oh god, oh fuck. I regret our argument; I don't want to come out. The closet is warm and Narnia is here- can we say it was a prank? Is that believable?" Obviously Luke was also just as frantic as Calum. Calum turned around in Luke's arms and stared at the blond.

"I can't feel my toes." Was the only sentence that came out of Calum's mouth. His throat was too dry to say anything else then.

"Okay. That's not good but- yeah okay. Oh fuck." Luke lowered his voice, leaning his head on Calum's shoulder. "We have to come out don't we?" He whispered. Luke kissed Calum's shoulder and sighed.

"You- you guys know we can see you, right?" A timid voice came from the dining table so Calum and Luke both simultaneously looked over. Michael and Ashton were both sitting at the table, facing the two boys who were hugging in the kitchen and it made Luke automatically step away from his boyfriend. Suddenly Luke's phone was blaring; Girl All The Bad Guys Want by Bowling For Soup and Luke grinned at the distraction before running over and clicking the accept button. 

"Hey mom, perfect timing as always." Luke answered. He turned to Calum, mouthing a 'ha!' and sticking his tongue out before beginning to walk out of the room. He stopped suddenly at the door and Luke pouted as he walked by over to Calum and held out the phone without looking at him. "It's for you." Luke told him grumpily. Calum laughed before grabbing the phone out of his hand. 

"Sucks for you!" Calum whispered to Luke before putting the phone to his ear and sticking his middle finger up to Luke. "Hey, Liz." Calum began to walk out of the room before Luke tackled him and grabbed the phone. 

"Calum tried to make me have sex with him outdoors!" Luke shouted into the phone before putting it back next to Calum's ear. Calum grasped the phone quickly, a gasp leaving his mouth as he put the phone to his ear and quickly pulled it away again. 

"Why the fuck would you-" He put the phone back to his ear, mumbling, "Of course I'm listening." He pulled the phone away again. "I fucking hate you! Deal with this problem on your own!" He gestured to Michael and Ashton who were watching the drama with big smiles. Calum put the phone back to his ear, wincing. "Of course I wouldn't do that. No, I know- not until marriage... not even then... I don't even know what sex is! Of course Luke is attractive- that doesn't mean-..." Calum pulled the phone away from his ear again, glaring at Luke. "I'm going to tell my mom that you abused me and called it foreplay!" He hissed before putting the phone back to his ear and walking out of the room.

Luke dropped back to his nervous persona as soon as Calum had left the room. He turned to Michaek and Ashton and scratched the back of his head. 

"So, this is a thing." Michael stated, gesturing to where Calum's pleading voice was coming from and then to Luke. "We heard you arguing by the way-"

"Not at all offensive to us." Ashton cut Michael off. "Jesus you made us sound like homophobic priests or something." 

"Bottom line is," Michael said pointedly. "We don't care if you're gay- or Calum's gay- I mean it's _fucking weird_ -"

"But," Ashton cut in loudly. "We accept- wait, if you were together before the band how didn't we know..." Luke gulped, trying to will Calum to finish the conversation with his mom and get back in here. "Anyway, you and Calum being together-" Ashton stopped talking as Calum walked back in with a guilty expression towards Luke, the phone pressed between his ear and shoulder and a bottle in his hand. 

"I know he's supposed to take them daily-" Calum held the bottle out to Luke and Luke took them with a heavy sigh and popped the lid open. "Vitamins are important." Michael snorted. "Yeah, his eating habits are still- uh... a sandwich? Cereal this morning- I know! Putting the milk in first is weird, right? It's not just me." Calum smirked at Luke. "Yeah, I'll tell him-" Calum pulled the phone away from his ear, "Mommy loves you sweetheart." Luke dropped his head against the table as Michael laughed at Calum's teasing tone. Calum put the phone back to his ear. "Yeah, he loves you... I love you too... Yeah, we'll be there... Okay, I've really got to go though-... No sex, I get it... Bye, Liz." Calum pulled the phone away and hung up the call before throwing the phone onto the table and groaning loudly, dropping onto the chair next to Luke's. 

"Seems very domestic." Everyone turned to glare at Michael. He held his hands up in mock defense, "Give me a break, I just found out that two of my best friends are gay and have been in some sort of serious relationship since we were all kids." 

"So it's not weird?" Calum asked quietly. 

"Oh no, its _definitely_ weird-" Again, everyone glared at Michael. " _But_ , acceptable. Cute even, I ship it or whatever the fans say. Good for you guys. Kiss, fuck, whatever-"

"It's cool!" Ashton spoke loudly to drown out Michael. "We're all friends, you guys are more. That's fine. Tour is still going to be epic, the fans are still going to love us, we all still love each other. Nothing's changed. You were both scared over nothing." 

"Thanks, Ash." 

"So, like, who's on top and who's on the receiving end?"

Everyone glared at Michael again.


End file.
